Danika Accomplishes Goals

Monday, May 08, 2006

David Blaine is a Farce

David Blaine is a farce. So, for the past two weeks, David Blaine and his TV promos have promised that he would break the world record ... he would either hold his breath for 9 minutes and break the world record, or he would die. Well, I watched this live stunt, completely convinced that he would succeed. I've seen many magic illusions on TV. I've seen David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear. I've seen him walk through the great wall of china and make the orient express disappear. So, I was fully convinced that a magician/illusionist does not attempt a live TV stunt unless he can succeed. So, I watch the D. Blaine hold his breath, and somehow the first five minutes of him sitting in water are fanscinating. I can't even blink. Then he releases his chain holds. It took him about 2 minutes to release his handcuffs, but I am sure that an good illusionist can release handcuffs in 2 seconds flat, so I thought he was milking for time.

After the two minutes of handcuffs, he pops up for air. What?!?! I was watching for two reasons. I was either going to see him break the world record (which was previously and still is 8:58), or I was going to see him die. Failure on both accounts. Waste of my time. What is television coming to when you cannot even believe the promos? Damn. He came up at 7:08, and they praised him for staying under water for the seven days prior to the occasion.

(To David Blaine)
False. No praise for you David Blaine. You lied to me and America. I watched a solid 20 mintues of your two hour special and you dissappointed. If I was in charge of television...if I was Jerry Bruckheimer ... you would have no more television specials. You would work at Wendy's and ask me if I would like fries with that. And, yes, David Blaine, I would like fries with that, and don't skimp on the ketchup this time. That is your future. Quit lying to me. Next time you say that you will break the world record or die, I expect to see one of the two options. Enjoy your future as a fry cook. You deserve it.

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